Tenshi
by Shrine Maiden Kitty
Summary: [one-shot] And now I understand-What you tried to say to me-How you suffered for your sanity-How you tried to set them free-They would not listen; they did not know how-Perhaps they'll listen now SR death


Kitty: Hello, Everyone. I just got a new project from my guitar instructor today. I'm to learn this very beautiful song called "Vincent". It's a song about Vincent Van Gogh and it's written by Don McLean, the same dude who did "American Pie", if you don't know who I'm talking about. It's a very beautiful song and I just got inspired to write a fanny-fiction! ^^;  
  
Ryou: I feel so loved ^^;  
  
Kitty: Yeah, you betta! It's going to be about you! And Seto-kun!  
  
Seto: *drinking coffee* Eh, wha...?  
  
Kitty: You get to be Ryou'-chan's lover!  
  
Seto: -.-'  
  
Ryou: Wahh!!! You don't love me anymore!!!! *runs away*  
  
Seto: Wait, Honey...!  
  
Kitty: Awww... How cute. Anywho, Bakura, please be a gent and do the disclaimer!  
  
Bakura: *grumbles* *Disclaimer* Kitty doesn't not own YuGiOh...  
  
~blah~ song lyrics  
  
* * *  
  
~*Tenshi*~  
  
* * *  
  
~Starry Starry night  
  
Paint your palette blue and grey  
  
Look out on a summer's day  
  
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul~  
  
You were beautiful Ryou. Why could you never accept the simple fact that you made my breath catch in my throat every time I saw you? You captivated me with every flick of your silky silver hair, every smile placed upon your pristine face, the way you talked, the way you laughed, even the way your tears fell when you were upset. It was all so beautiful, all so you my sweet white flower. But the thing I loved about you most of all, Ryou, was the way you painted.  
  
I remember watching you on endless summer days, sitting on the top of buildings, standing in meadows, and relaxing on the river bed as I watched you paint for hours, pouring all of your pure heart and soul into your work. You were a work of art yourself, Ryou, and not only when you were painting, but in everything you ever did. I wish I could capture the very essence of you and hang it in my front hall, but you were just too priceless to capture. You made me feel amazing things, Ryou, and I'm proud to say I loved you.  
  
You were so kind to me. You always looked toward the sun, even on a rainy day. You showed me that even a man such as I, cold and overworked, that there is beauty in everything. You saw beauty in everyone and everything. You were so pure and innocent, so eager to become one with this wretched world, it was almost impossible not to fall in love with you. You were irresistible.  
  
You were the only one who had ever been able to look into my eyes and say to me, "You're wonderful, Seto, and because of you, so many people have work, and can provide for their families. I admire your perseverance, my love, and I hope you never lose that smile that I see behind your eyes. You've seen hell, Seto, hell—and I don't know anyone else as strong as you. This is why I love you."  
  
You were very emotional, I remember it so clearly. You would come to me so often with tears in your eyes, telling me how they hurt you so badly. It ripped at my heart to see you in so much pain. It hurt to have to hear you say to me, "What am I doing wrong, Seto? Why can't I be better?" I hated it so much. Why couldn't I have saved you? I remember you as if you were still here with me today. I can still remember the singsong sound of your voice...  
  
***FLASHBACK***  
  
~Shadows on hills  
  
Sketch the trees and daffodils  
  
Catch the breeze and the winter chill  
  
In colors on the snowy linen land~  
  
"What do you think of this, Seto?"  
  
I look up into your eyes lazily from my spot where I had been lazing on the ground. It was a beautiful summer day, and you had taken me to the meadows to paint pictures of the daffodils. They had always been your favorite. I had been dosing off a bit when the sound of your voice brought me back to the world of the living.  
  
You looked so adorable today. You were wearing a black T-shirt and coveralls, with the legs rolled up to the knee. Your sandals were scattered feet away from each other, forgotten in the long grass. Your silky hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, a few choice strands escaping through the front of the gum band, framing your flawless face. I just about melted when I looked into your face. The sun shone in your eyes and you were squinting at me cutely, your hand shielding away the sun ineffectively, casting shadows over your eyes and atop your rosy cheeks. You made me smile with just a glance.  
  
"I think it looks beautiful, Ryou," I answered with a smile, rolling over to get a better look at the easel. It didn't matter what he was painting, it always came out simply amazing. Sadly, not many others agreed with me...  
  
The breeze blew and ruffled your hair and I got caught up in the moment. It was like the perfect picture; you, me, together in the sun, all alone; you in all of your innocent glory. Your hair was like snow in the wind on a winter's day, and you sent shivers down my spine. Your gorgeous cerulean eyes were enough to make me weak in the knees.  
  
"Seto...?"  
  
"Yes, my love?"  
  
"You're going to think of me silly for asking..."  
  
"Never, tenshi."  
  
"Do you know what it feels like to be trapped within yourself? Not knowing how to break free from chains that are invisible to even you, yourself? What it's like to have something, someone living inside you that you can't get rid of, no matter how hard you try? Do you know what it feels like to be misunderstood?"  
  
His eyes were so intense with... something. Belief maybe? Perhaps confusion? I'm not quite sure, but his questions caught me by surprise. In all truth I couldn't really fully comprehend what he was trying to ask me; if he was seeking answers within me for there was no where else to go.  
  
Before I could answer your question, you suddenly broke down weeping and fell to the ground. I was so alarmed and gravely concerned. I quickly shot up from the ground and ran to you. I was so confused. You confused me, Ryou. Why was my love crying? As I held you, I could think of nothing other than to tell you that I loved you. I hoped that that would be enough to make you be alright. I couldn't understand what you had been trying to tell me, my angel, and lost in the moment, I had forgotten you questions; almost forgotten your pain.  
  
CHORUS  
  
~And now I understand  
  
What you tried to say to me  
  
How you suffered for your sanity  
  
How you tried to set them free  
  
They would not listen;  
  
They did not know how  
  
Perhaps they'll listen now~  
  
From that day on it was always the same. I would watch you cry yourself to sleep night after night. One night you finally told me that your other friends were hurting you with their words. Trying to discourage you from doing what you loved. They told you to give up life as a painter, to make something useful of yourself, for in art you could not, would not, excel.  
  
They didn't understand the concept of your passion. You painted because you loved it with your heart and soul. You saw what others could not see. And that was what was so great about you.  
  
But they were blinded by the times and could not accept you as you were. I truly cannot believe them to be your "friends". Friends do not discourage each other and push them into the mud.  
  
I grew instantly infuriated. But you, my merciful, sweet angel, you told me they knew not of what they said. They were only being honest. I could never figure out why you forgave time after time. I guess that was just something that was just so otherworldly about you, my Ryou. You were truly an angel trapped in a wretched human body. I am so glad you are my angel.  
  
~Starry Starry night  
  
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze  
  
Swirling colors in violet haze  
  
Reflect in Ryou's eyes of china blue~  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?"  
  
You look up at me sweetly, and I smile in spite of the depressing aura that is quickly swallowing up the room.  
  
"I was thinking about... flowers."  
  
I smile at you.  
  
"Flowers so beautiful... but they are ablaze! Fiery red engulfs fields of them! It's all so powerful, the feeling you harbor as you watch them burn in awe. But the flowers are not in pain, it's a burning beauty that only one's with true heart can understand." You state it so powerfully. You always dazzled me with your passion of life.  
  
"Someone like you."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"I said, 'Some like you.' You're the true heart that understands that feeling, Ryou."  
  
And you smile.  
  
"Yes, I suppose you're right..."  
  
And we are both smiling. Moments such as these make me believe that you are still the same angel that I first fell for. Not the broken child you are turning into. Whether you realize it or not, I can see right through your façade, I can see the pain behind your eyes. But you are now as gorgeous as ever.  
  
~Colors changing hue  
  
Mourning fields of amber grain  
  
Weathered faces lined in pain  
  
Are soothed beneath the artists loving hand~  
  
What is happening, Tenshi? You no longer smile when you mix your colors. The message behind each new painting, each self portrait, somber. Your eyes have leaked so many tears that rivers would flood; dams would be broken. You are going mad slowly, my angel. Why is it that you will not tell me how to heal you?  
  
You tell me you are fine, when clearly you breaking from the inside out. Is it your mou hitori no boku? Is he haunting your dreams again? Are your "friends" still crushing your ambitions? Please, please let me cure you, my angel, for I cannot bear to gaze upon your face contorted into so much pain.  
  
But the worst part is your eyes. They are blank where they used to be filled with life and happiness. You had had so many dreams! You still do! They are just altered a bit Tenshi! Pay no heed to their cruel and unforgiving words! Why won't you love yourself, my angel? Can't you see the beauty that is you?  
  
And again I watch you paint. I am quiet as the breeze, and I observe you in silent pain, knowing so helplessly, that you are not well.  
  
CHORUS  
  
~And now I understand  
  
What you tried to say to me  
  
How you suffered for your sanity  
  
How you tried to set them free  
  
They would not listen;  
  
They did not know how  
  
Perhaps they'll listen now~  
  
~ (Listen now)  
  
For they could not love you  
  
But still your love was true  
  
And when no hope was left in sight  
  
On that starry starry night  
  
You took your life  
  
As lovers often do  
  
But I could have told you Ryou  
  
This world was never meant  
  
For someone as beautiful as you~  
  
I came by your place on that fateful evening. I had called you, but there was no answer. I called your cell phone, no answer there either. I figured you were probably asleep, warm in your bed, and I decided to surprise you by coming over. I had bought you some new brushes. Your other ones were becoming so old, and I felt you deserved something for just simply being you.  
  
I rang the doorbell several times in slight anticipation. I couldn't wait to see you, my angel; it had been almost twenty-four hours since we had last been together! And to me that seemed like an eternity. I was so in love with you, Ryou. Do you even know just how I pine to be with you every waking moment? I would give up anything for you.  
  
I finally decided that you were out cold and I pulled out my spare key. But to my surprise, the door was unlocked and I walked into the house confused, and turned on the kitchen light as soon as I entered. Something felt wrong.  
  
I searched for you. I looked everywhere. As I passed your studio I walked in and found a painting that was still wet. It was you and I, sitting in the meadow, surrounded by daffodils. We sat with our knees to our chests and your head was leaning onto my shoulder. You looked so small next to me. But we were smiling. Warm smiles; just like before. Before they hurt you, my angel.  
  
I was so caught up in the emotion in that photo, that for just a second, I forgot where I was, and I was in the meadow, with you, listening to the breeze, your head against my shoulder. Everything so perfect.  
  
When I came back to I realized that there was still one room left. I walked quickly to the bathroom and knocked several times before entering. The door was unlocked. But the sight that greeted me behind that closed door will be forever engraved into my memories.  
  
There was my angel, lying in a half full tub, wrists slit, throat slit, floating in bloody water. His feathery hair fanned around him like a silver halo, a look of innocence on his face. But his eyes... They were open. But he was dead.  
  
I was left in a state of shock. My baby was gone. My light in my life had burnt out. All because he was so pure, and fragile, that he couldn't handle all of the hate in the world.  
  
"The world was never meant for one as beautiful as you, my sweet, sweet angel..."  
  
I kissed your forehead, and said my good-byes, and then I closed your dead eyes respectfully; they were for no one else to see. It was something too personal.  
  
I left after I called the police. I took your last painting with me.  
  
***PRESENT TIME***  
  
~Starry Starry night  
  
Portraits hung in empty halls  
  
Frameless heads on nameless walls  
  
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget  
  
Like  
  
The strangers that you've met  
  
The ragged men in ragged clothes  
  
The silver thorn the bloody rose  
  
Liar crushed and broken on the virgin snow~  
  
I'm sitting here now, hoping that you are up there, watching over the world where you belong. In your heaven you will forever be grand; I truly believe heaven is only yours. This world had nothing to offer for you, Tenshi. I am upset, but relieved, knowing that you are in a better place now, where everyone will love you for who you are. You will astound the gods with your grace and humility. You will awe with your talent and huge heart. You always had the biggest heart in the world.  
  
The gods had sent me an angel, you couldn't have stayed; I know that now. You couldn't survive in a place like this, so void of life and happiness. You were too pure for the cruelty this world harbored. I am glad to know that you are safe from harm. I was blessed by you, my angel. And I am coming to visit you very soon.  
  
Some people never change. And I finally realize what you were trying to tell me all those year ago.  
  
I grew up. I started a family. I went on with my life with this numbing pain in the back of my mind that was the memories of you.  
  
You would have been proud to know that your paintings are now very famous. You are very famous. But maybe that would only make you blush and hide behind me as you often did in uncomfortable situations. You were so... so perfect. I miss you now, more than ever. You're everywhere now.  
  
But I understand now what it feels like to be lost within yourself, chained to invisible bonds. Unable to break free. You are everything that is my heart and soul, and I cannot part with your everlasting memory. So now I shall follow you, my angel.  
  
I am coming to see you now.  
  
A gunshot rang though the Kaiba household; and simultaneously a single painting falls off of the wall. A painting of two lovers, surrounded by daffodils, living life as if nothing could ever destroy their bond. And nothing ever will.  
  
~And now I understand  
  
What you tried to say to me  
  
How you suffered for your sanity  
  
How you tried to set them free  
  
They would not listen  
  
They're not listening still  
  
Perhaps they never will... ~  
  
~*OWARI*~  
  
* * *  
  
Kitty: O.o  
  
Ryou: Awe that was so emotional! ;_;  
  
Kitty: I'll admit, I cried. That usually doesn't happen.  
  
Ryou: *pats back* It means you have a heart.  
  
Bakura: *Laughing loudly in BG*  
  
Kitty: *Twitch* Anywho, ppl, please tell me what you think of my little one- shot! I'm actually quite pleased with how it turned out!  
  
Ryou: Yes, I died, but for a good cause!  
  
Bakura: Please elaborate.  
  
Seto: I said "Tenshi", "my angel", and "sweet" waaaaaaaaay too much @@!!!!!!  
  
Kitty: Yeah... that and the tense confusion were my only flaws. That and the fact that it was a shounen ai couple with no real shounen ai action O.o. I suppose I'll be flamed for that T_T  
  
Ryou: *too optimistic* So far you haven't been flamed on anything ^^  
  
Kitty: I suppose...  
  
WOO WOO REVIEW! 


End file.
